This week feels busy and stagnant all at once. On the outside, there’s a lot happening, but internally it’s quieter—almost suspended. Personally, the week is centered around my kids and a few meaningful moments. I have a minor surgery on Wednesday, and on Friday I’m really looking forward to the meet-and-greet with Britney at her sweet shop, Jasper Row in Kingston. There will be beautiful flowers, a little swag, and the chance to shop for a unique piece to carry into spring—one of those moments that feels light and celebratory.
I’m also heading to see Wiz at the Paramount Theatre, and tomorrow I’ll be sharing an interview with the incredibly beautiful and talented Kayla Jade. I’m truly grateful she took the time to sit down with me—it was a special conversation, and I can’t wait to share it with you.
This week feels like a love edition of life—joy, grief, celebration, remembrance—all existing together. And honestly, that feels about right for this season.
What does Valentine’s Day mean to me in this season of being single? Being single finally feels like freedom instead of failure. There is no shame in this season—only peace. I love being solo. I love doing what I want, when I want, without asking permission or shrinking myself to fit into someone else’s life. This version of me is grounded, secure, and unapologetic.
How has being single taught me to love myself differently?
For so long, I believed that if I wasn’t with a man, something was missing. This last year changed everything. I did the work—four years of therapy, deep reflection, and hard truths. I outgrew the relationship I was in long before it officially ended, and walking away was an act of self-respect. I know my worth now. I enjoy my own company. Getting here feels incredible. I only wish I had discovered this strength in my twenties—but maybe I needed every step to become who I am now.
What kind of love do I want the young women in my life to see me model?
Love yourself first. No one is coming to fix you—you do that work yourself. And never, ever dim your light by choosing a partner beneath you. You deserve someone who rises to meet you. One of my nieces is going through this right now, first big crush and he is so beneath her, I want to scream at her that she is so much better, and only now when I see this through my own eyes can I understand where my parents and best friends would hope to God I would get it. I hope she learns this lesson one time and not repeated it over and over until she is almost 50.
Who has loved me steadily through every season?
I have a small, loyal circle—friends who carried me through the hardest moments simply by staying. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. Their presence changed my life.
What does romance look like for me outside of a relationship?
Romance looks like spoiling myself, loving my kids fiercely, and celebrating my girlfriends. I’m dating myself this year and putting myself first. I know what I bring to the table—because I am the table. Anyone who enters my life will have to be pretty special for me to move my stack of books and the remote from the empty side of my bed.
How do I celebrate love with my girlfriends?
I wasn’t always the best friend—I see that now. I didn’t realize how much I needed them. Today, I show up intentionally. I don’t cancel, I don’t flake, and I make time. One best friend is here in Washington, another lives out of state, so we schedule FaceTimes and send cards in the mail. If I could give back time and be better sooner, I would—but I’m present now, and that matters.
How has motherhood deepened my heart?
There is no love like the love I have for my boys—and there never will be. Losing my sight changed how we do life, but it didn’t take away our joy. We plan, we get creative, and we dream together. We may not take spontaneous road trips, but we have trains, planes, cruises, and bucket lists—together and one-on-one. I want every second with them to matter.
What boundaries protect my peace now?
I don’t say yes to everything anymore. Rest is not selfish. Sometimes I have to cancel because I need quiet—and sometimes I push myself to get out of the house. I’m grateful for the people who lovingly nudge me forward when I need it.
What kind of partnership would add to my life—not complete it?
A best friend. A parent who understands that kids come first. Someone who knows my health will always be part of the story. Someone who makes me laugh, loves my boys like their own, and meets me with kindness and patience.
How do I show up for my friends now?
I may not always be there physically, but I am always present. I check in. I listen. I make them feel important and chosen. I love deeply and intentionally.
What does a fulfilled, love-rich life look like today?
It looks like this. Parents who support me. Moving home because I needed them—and letting myself receive that love. My boys. My friends. My family. My writing. My voice. I feel more love now than I have in years.
What will I never settle for again?
Uneven effort. Meet me in the middle. I will carry you when you’re tired—but you do the same for me.
How do I teach my kids that love comes in many forms?
By showing them every day—through how I love them, how I treat strangers, and how I move through the world with compassion, even when people don’t fully see me.
What makes this season special, even while single?
Valentine’s Day will always carry grief after losing my Nana. So we honor her. I cook the meals she used to make—beef stroganoff, homemade noodles—and bake her chocolate chip cookies with the boys. Love lives on in ritual.
What am I most proud of about the woman I am today?
I am confident. I am real. I am unapologetically myself. I am proud of the mother I’ve become and the work it took to get here. I only wish I had always been this woman—but I’m grateful I finally am.
